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Sherds of Dream

not dreamt alone

8/27/11 10:22 pm - number one daughter's birthday

Monday is my eldest daughter's birthday! words cannot convey how delighted i am to see her mature and develop as a human being.  having and raising her and her sister are the very best thing i have ever done, masterpieces that will far outlast me in their effect upon the world.  happy birthday, darling heartspunmom!

2/9/11 12:56 pm - updatey

haven't posted for a while.  seems like all last year i was constantly tired, grumpy, had reached one of those low-energy plateaus where you just don't really give a rat's a$$.  work was constant diddling, meetings and manual updates where you press two buttons per spreadsheet, and do that 5000 times.  but you have to actually look at the spreadsheets before you press the buttons, so i couldn't even automate those.  if i'd cared enough to do so. 

but now it is spring, work has heated up and will be getting insane soon, there is new medication to balance my thyroid function and my blood sugar which is already making me feel more human.  the garden calls to me.  soon it will be gentle enough outdoors to paint the stairwell, as well as more walkies.  lack of exercise makes me depressed; i knew that, but did nothing about it. 

i have been spending time hand-sewing clothes out of my dyed silk/linen/cotton.  some of it's kinda funky; i can only wear it to PantheaCon or BoS discussions or other hippy-type gatherings.  but some of it i'm proud of; especially the low-water immersion dyed linen with shibori-style clamp-resisted overdyes.  i do spontaneous dyeing whenever i can; it makes me happy.

1/9/11 12:51 pm - rant/

rantCollapse )

my only suggestions are to love the people you love just as hard as you can, and try to keep in mind and heart that all those other people out there in the world *are* people, who are trying to do the same thing you are.  compassion and love are our only antidotes to the systemic poison of frustration and pain that gives rise to hatred and violence.  

12/30/10 10:32 am - livejournal & why i still read it

even though i spend much more time than i should over on facebook keeping track of friends, i love that some people still make longer, more detailed posts here. like treecat 's travelogues, tragerstreit 's peacock rants, djinrain 's dinosaur erasers. most facebook entries are little more than tweets (which i think of as drive-by posts, a sort of written handwave - effective communication not so much) but lj provides a larger canvas, or piece of paper or headspace. yeah, headspace. a place to examine events, feelings, experiences instead of just reacting to them. somewhere to learn about yourself and others, a cooler quieter spot where communication can occur. now, i realize that some people are so in-the-moment that they just can't communicate what is happening to them, more likely some people just don't want to share where they're at because they think it's too dull for words or even possibly that words are not a medium that works well for them and they are connecting in other ways. rita has a blog elsewhere, linda has shows regularly, etc. so, thank you to those of you who take the time to actually write things here on lj, interesting things that i read and treasure.

12/22/10 07:23 pm - in 2011 I resolve to:

Go to the masks every month.
Cut down to ten humans a day.
Give some cats to charity.
Find a better gardnerian.
Find a new tantra.
Take evening classes in scotch.

4/26/10 03:43 pm - theological diddling

Is there only one god? Are all gods one god, all goddesses one goddess? what *is* a god, or "God"? Who are *our* gods? I've seen the concepts surrounding who or what we worship change and grow, evolve, over the last 25 years- those who have been around longer can probably add their experiences to this timeline. Ancestors? Heroes? Enemies? Rivals? Facets of a larger whole? Mental constructs around which stories gather? Do we have a "God-shaped hole" in our consciousness, so that we subconsciously search for something awesome to fill it? Volcanoes? Bears? Natural catastrophes? Embodiments of that unseen energy that we depend upon for survival on a daily basis: seasonal cycles and food sources, luck in hunting and childbirth? The NeoPlatonists seem to have organized everything into a hierarchy; other historical cultures may only have cast their beliefs in terms of pantheons when they began to rub shoulders with more advanced cultures that thought in that way. So is "God" a meme? I'm suggesting that "our" gods are on the ancestors-heroes-daily survival level, which may be why they don't seem so all-encompassing or horrific as the gods based upon catastrophes. Just as powerful, but in a much more immediate way. If you let Catastrophe gods run your life, you get people who can only be impressed by catastrophes.

3/20/10 09:03 am - the never-ending list

Costco - groceries and gas (done)
check programming on sprinklers (done)
spa maintenance (done)
wash dishes, pots & pans (partially done)
REI - liner socks (done)
make K. a new lanyard for work (done)
iron work clothes for next week
scrub kitchen floor
rake leaves & winter detritus in front of house
assemble new IKEA desk
paint spot on kitchen ceiling
Lowe's - motion sensor light switches for laundry room, garage
sew skirt
rehab BBQ
BBQ Sunday - skewered shrimp, marinated tritip, chimichuri rice, vegs
go for a walk down by the river
see Alice movie
help AW sort & move books out of living room


now, i know very well that some of these won't get done this weekend. other things will crop up that need taking care of. but this lets me organize my time and sets goals for what i'd like to accomplish. as long as i don't get too obsessive about it...

2/22/10 08:56 am - Go no more a-roaming...

Spent all weekend helping to put together a shed on the concrete pad alongside our garage. it drizzled & rained sporadically. the instructions were, um... less than truly useful. had a friend or two to assist, but it took a while to figure out which part went where. didn't get the roof on, so that remains to be done next weekend. why the hurry getting this done? well, the peripatetic NWC library needs a more permanent home than it's had these last few years. it had been housed in a room of a members' house, but when that member left, the library began it's perambulations. if it's to be any use to anyone (which is why we maintain it) it needs to be in one stable place. and no one is more stable than us. and, since it had to move from it's temporary location by the end of this month, we had to get the shed together NOW. in the rain and cold. but once installed, the library shouldn't have to move for at least ten years (warranty on shed.) there are skylights and windows, and can be electrified later. anyway, we'll try this - the library may need to be inside a house after all, to properly protect the rare and OOP books, but this is what can happen given the current staffing and finances of the organization. in the spring it should be lovely to sit out there gazing out over the garden, cataloging books via wifi from the house.

2/16/10 01:11 pm - Another PantheaCon passes…

The drive was smooth and comfortable. Decent weather (Monday was spectacular). Our first chance to get the new Elephant out onto the highway to stretch it’s legs.

Many good conversations, chances to reconnect with friends we don’t get to see except at PCon. It’s amazing how much you can learn hanging around with folks who have been continuously involved in the pagan community for 30 years and more.

Speaking of traditions, a friend presented her observations and experiences of folklore and customs surviving in the Balkans since pagan times. I’m especially glad that she was able to contrast the villagers carrying on the long traditions and beliefs with the staged and rather abstract versions presented to the tourists, since the staged versions are superseding and supplanting the real traditions.

At another presentation I attended, the presenter stressed the importance of having active, dynamic content on an organization’s website if it wants to generate news and attract people. And I thought “Yes, this is an issue we’ve been dealing with for the last decade- both in publishing the dead-tree version of Red Garters (which is why it went under) and on the website: the NWC doesn’t do much that we can share with nonmembers and thus there is very little content generated.” NWC focus is internal; providing support and fellowship for our member traditions and their covens and elders. We act as a professional organization for BTW elders, establishing dialog on topics ranging from continuing education in Craft history, magical techniques and research to the ethics of group leadership. We provide an avenue for people seeking to become involved in member groups and referrals to other groups in areas where we have no members. The things we discuss and the people we serve are not “public”, so dynamic content isn’t going to be generated. Our presence on the web is primarily informational. There are book reviews and recommendations, contacts for membership inquiries and seekers, white papers, flying rolls, reports and articles. There will be occasional events open to public participation, but most NWC functions will remain internal. So, we don’t present “hot” media but I think that there is still a need and a place for us.

Discussions of philosophy by-and-large bore me, especially after a full meal. There are several people who represent the (seemingly) polar opposites of pagan philosophy: highly structured neoPlatonism vs. post-modern realism. So, given that I don’t personally have a need for rigid structure in my Craft practice (making neoPlatonism not as useful as it might be), and that post-modern realism seems solipsistic (sorry, no Marxist religious dialectic for me, kthxbye), is there a possible compromise that will allow me to pick and choose the bits that make sense to me? Or can I dispense with philosophy altogether, and just dance?

See ya next year at PantheaCon!

1/17/10 07:57 pm - the game is afoot

surely you jest!
I've asked you not to call me that, John.  It's Sher-lock;  Bring your pistol.

anyway...
a bit non-canonical in spots, but fresh...  i liked it & am looking forward to rereading the stories.
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